Stop the negative talk and be kind to yourself
Making positive self-talk a habit takes practice and the end result will be so worth it!
How healthy do you think it is to go about your daily life living with an emotional abuser inside your head?
Imagine if you had better internal dialogue. What a change to your day-to-day life!
Positive self-talk is any internal conversation that uplifts and encourages us, while negative self-talk is the kind of language that berates, invalidates, and discourages us.
“The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.” ― Miya Yamanouchi
Why do I engage in negative self-talk?
Some of us engage in negative self-talk as a way to protect ourselves. If we can identify all our shortcomings and flaws before anyone else does, we think we can avoid rejection or criticism. Many people also believe that negative self-talk will motivate them to change for the better, although the opposite is usually true. Negative self-talk is often so consuming that it ultimately worsens mental and physical health, preventing us from taking any productive actions -sometimes seen as procrastination.
How do I show myself self-love?
A simple way to show yourself self-love is to replace criticism with appreciation, be positive while talking about yourself, and respect and create boundaries for yourself. To accomplish this, the LOVE Yourself Project has created the program LOVE Yourself in 90 Days. LYP90 aims to provide a weekly task towards loving yourself – all designed to bring about bliss, abundance, acceptance, and love in your life.
Remember – YOU need to do the work. YOU need to reach out to the LYP90 Conscious Mentors.
Be patient and trust the process.
No matter how much you commit to self-compassion, unhelpful internal dialogue won’t stop on its own. Instead, when you push back against the instinct to engage in self-blame, you begin to create new neural pathways in your brain that, over time, become just as automatic as the self-blame. Over time, the more you honour the unhelpful thoughts while rerouting yourself to a perspective that is more productive, the less frequent those unhelpful thoughts become, and the less intense they become.
Tips on how to change
Become Aware of Negative Self-Talk
Becoming aware of negative thinking patterns and their impact on mood and behavior is the first step. Here are two examples to start doing that:
- Timeout to reflect – Take some time out to reflect on your thoughts and inner voice. Stop and say to yourself “What’s the thought? What is driving it? How am I feeling?”
- Journaling – Either free-form journaling or a thought journal can help. Basically, any technique to get your thoughts down on paper can improve your awareness of negative thinking and help you become more in tune with yourself.
NOTE: Check out Claudia Roth’s profile – she offers Soul Journaling workshops
Challenge the Negative Self-Talk
When you get better at recognizing negative thinking patterns, you can begin to dive deeper and develop new thinking patterns. Many times, negative thoughts are connected to irrational beliefs. Catch yourself and challenge these thoughts. Using concrete, positive affirmation is a great place to start. Instead of “I am never going to get this right,” challenge the thought with “I am doing my best, and my best is enough.” Retraining your mind and shifting your lens takes time and practice.
NOTE: Check out Mei Flynn’s profile – she offers workshops on changing your mindset
Step Outside of Yourself
Sometimes when you’re stuck in a negative thought cycle, it can be helpful to shift perspectives. Try asking yourself, “What would my best friend say?” or “Would I talk to my best friend like this?” Developing self-talk that has a foundation of self-love and compassion is powerful and can really combat the cycle of negativity. Talk to yourself the way you would speak to a loved one, taking a stance of empathy and encouragement.
This can also mean changing your space, and changing how you see things.
NOTE: Check out S. Lee Wright’s profile – she can show you how to change your space to bring about harmony.
Talk It Out
There are times when we need to lean on someone – our support system – to get out of our heads and challenge negativity. Talking to someone in your network, a loved one, or a coach/mentor, can help you sort out what’s real and what’s the negative thinking about yourself and the world.
NOTE: Bookmark the LYP90 page to see the list of our LYP90 Conscious Mentors.
Focus on the Present Moment
Mindfulness is a tool that not only combats negative thinking but provides a sense of relief, giving you the ability to stop and refocus. Wherever your mind wanders, you have the power to bring it back to this moment and focus on the hope within the present. Breathing exercises, grounding, and meditation – are ways to focus on the now and break free from the grip of negative thoughts.
Remember to practice compassion, forgiveness, care, trust, and respect inwards – at YOU.
If you are struggling, make sure to get in touch and stay in touch with your LYP90 Conscious Mentors or any health and wellness provider you trust.
To a healthier and happier YOU!